Which came first? Insecurity or my lack of discipline? I believe that one is the antecedent to the other. I am not sure which though. If I am undisciplined I can become insecure about not doing all the responsible things I am supposed to do. This is especially true when I am around a teammate who is clearly more disciplined than me. Or did I allow myself to be shamed into an undisciplined lifestyle when my disciplined lifestyle caused me to stand out from the rest of my teammates and now I am forced to choose to influence them or be influenced by them?