Our motivations are always private. In fact, it is usually a waste of time to assume the motivations of others unless they actually self-report them. When we hold a grudge against a teammate, our motivations will always be in question. No one will know, but secretly the “why” behind everything we do will have a slightly different agenda than if we didn’t hold the grudge. Bitterness at its early stages is a silent and therefore completely private condition. No one will know why we describe things the way we do. Why we choose our words. Why we are too busy to help. Initially the only person experiencing the ill effects of bitterness is the bitter person with secret motivations.